Newsletter

Welcome Back, Parents!

A few updates on the beginning of a new school year

Scott Hines

06 Aug 2024 — 4 min read

Hello, Parents!

We’re gearing up for another great year of school here at Oak Tree Elementary.

Classes for the 2024-25 academic year start tomorrow, and before your students arrive, we’d like to share with you some crucial information. Please read this email carefully!

Communication

We have updated our digital tools to give parents better access to up-to-date information on their student’s progress. Of note:

Your children’s homework assignments will be posted each night in the Class!ROOM app. Please note this differs from last year, where we used the TakeHome app. The TakeHome app is no longer in use for homework assignments.
Please do not delete the TakeHome app.
What do you mean you already deleted the TakeHome app? You should not have done that. Please read this email in its entirety before deleting any more apps.
Please delete the TestStar app. A security flaw was discovered in it over the summer, and your personal banking information, medical records and internet browsing history have been posted on the Dark Web.

Supplies

We are requesting that all students show up for the first day of school with the following supplies, which will be sold out citywide by the time you finish reading this sentence. There are unconfirmed reports of availability at a Target in Tennessee. Please start driving now.

One file folder (light blue)
One file folder (green)
Four spiral bound, single-subject, wide-ruled notebooks in the following colors:
- (1) Green
- (1) Yellow
- (1) Purple
- (1) “Fun”
  - Please note that “fun” notebooks may not have patterns, characters, words or logos on them.
  - Your student should write their name on the front of each notebook, or not. Please consult the NoteBook app for individual classroom requirements.
One file folder corresponding to your child’s T.E.A.M. assignment
- Please log in to the T.E.A.M. app to determine what T.E.A.M. your child is on
  - Students on T.E.A.M. INTEGRITY should have orange folders.
  - Students on T.E.A.M. RADIANCE should have white folders.
  - Students on T.E.A.M. VALIANT should have green folders.
    - Please note that this cannot be the same shade of green as the notebook.
  - Students on T.E.A.M. SKIBIDI should have black folders.
    - Please note that our previous policy of allowing the team with the highest T.E.A.M. score to choose a name for the following year has been suspended going forward.
Six #3 pencils
One expensive water bottle
- Please note that your child will lose this bottle within the first five days of school. Do not despair; this sacrifice is necessary to ensure a successful school year. The gods of education hunger for custom-engraved YETI bottles.
  - Please do not anger the gods, and supply a second water bottle as soon as possible.
    - It will also be lost.
    - A list of acceptable water bottles can be found in the HyDr8 app.

Transportation

We understand that there were issues with school buses last year; we have worked diligently over the summer to address these issues as best as possible.

Among the changes:

Your child’s new bus assignment has been posted in the TestStar app
What do you mean you deleted the TestStar app?
Yes, we told you to delete it, but we also told you to read to the end of the email first, didn’t we?
We hope your student listens to instructions better than you do.
Well, it’s fine. We don’t actually have enough drivers to bus your child as it is. We were going to tell you that in the app, but now’s as good a time as any. Please drive them to school yourself.
Car line information can be accessed in the TakeHome app.

Meals

Daily lunch offerings can be found in the CafeTerra app
Please note the CafeTerra app is still in development, and not available for download yet.
Honestly, just trust that if you were planning on having pizza for dinner, your child probably had pizza for lunch earlier that day.
- They will not tell you this until after dinner.

Holidays

Schools will be closed for the following holidays and observances:

Fall Break (September 30 - October 4)
Thanksgiving Break (December 3 - 5)
Winter Break (December 21 - January 4)
Spring Break (March 31 - April 4)
The Random Two-Day Break You Will Absolutely Forget About Until The Friday Beforehand (It’s in September, or maybe February. It wouldn’t really matter if we told you now, would it?)
The Break That Will Come at an Extremely Inconvenient Time For You Work-Wise (Please consult your own work calendar. We’ll wait.)
- (Yep, it’s then.)

School Photos

School photos will be on September 2.

Please dress your child in their nicest outfit.
When you receive your photos, they will be wearing a Minecraft t-shirt.
We do not know how this happened, either.

We look forward to seeing those smiling faces in the hallways tomorrow morning!

If you have any questions, please direct them to us via your child, who will convey back to you answers that sound kind of correct but are fundamentally flawed in some unknown and yet critical manner, much like ChatGPT.