Eat This (And Also That)

It might not be immediately evident from my writing of late, but I’ve actually been on a little bit of a health kick through the first few months of 2025. I’ve been counting my calories, practicing intermittent fasting, and limiting my intake of chili stunts to once or twice a week.

It’s been paying off! I’ve already lost a few pounds, my clothes are fitting more comfortably, and I’m feeling much better overall.

Establishing healthy eating habits isn’t just about cutting back, though.

In fact, if you’re counting calories, it can be more important than ever to make sure that you’re getting enough nutrients from the things you are eating.

This is where superfoods can shine.

Superfoods, a concept first introduced in a 2003 Men’s Health interview with Vin Diesel, are a very special category of foods. These are foods with special powers—foods that can restore and rejuvenate you while also making you feel virtuous and superior to others.

They’re nutritional magic, but it’s not always easy to fit them into your busy lifestyle. I mean, you can’t just fill your pockets with blueberries and walk around all day like that. The berries will get smashed, and your pants will be ruined.

Fret not!

I’m a bit of a nutritionist myself, and I’ve identified some of the most potent superfoods around today—along with some surprising ways they can be incorporated into your daily diet.

Let’s review.

Peanut Butter

Peanut butter is a wonderful food—a great source of plant-based protein, dietary fiber and unsaturated fat that’s also rich in antioxidants such as p-coumaric acid. It also contains resveratrol, which is associated with a lowered risk of heart disease.

Of course, it can be difficult to eat peanut butter on the go. It’s hard to get it out of the jar while driving, and getting it all over the steering wheel it can lead to dangerous collisions and/or Dukes of Hazzard-like jumps. Those look cool, but they’re terrible for your car’s suspension.

Consider instead a product containing a clean, hand-held form of peanut butter—like Do-Si-Dos, a sandwich cookie sold by the Girl Scouts of America.

All that great peanut butter nutrition, with a fraction of the reckless driving charges.

Coconuts

This tropical fruit isn’t just for making bikini tops or simulating the sound of a horse’s hooves—it’s also a nutritional powerhouse, full of vitamins, minerals and medium-chain fatty acids, which are associated with improved brain function and lowered cholesterol.

That said, coconuts aren’t easy to get your hands for people who aren’t contestants on Survivor, and the producers said that my audition tape was “both off-putting and depressing”.

Never fear! You might not be able to get whole coconuts, but the shredded meat inside can be found far away from Fiji in a wide range of products—including Samoas, a delicious cookie sold by the Girl Scouts of America.

You don’t even need a machete to open these. (It looks cool if you do, though.)

Lemons

Now, you might recognize these little yellow buggers from slot machines, mid-1990s U2 stage sets, or dish towels sold at Anthropologie, but they’re actually a real fruit! They’re also an excellent source of Vitamin C, which boosts immune function, stimulates collagen production, and sang that song “Graduation (Friends Forever)”.

It’s not like lemons grow on trees, though. Where are you going to get your fix?

You could attempt to boil down Sprite, but that’s energy-intensive and produces an impure lemon-lime mixture. Instead, why not try Lemon-Ups, a citrus-rich cookie sold by the Girl Scouts of America?

(That graduation song really hit if you were in the Class of 2000.)

Chocolate

Hold up, now. You’re telling me that *chocolate* is good for me?

It sounds crazy, but it’s true!

Scientists have identified dark chocolate as containing flavanols—powerful antioxidants that can protect cells from “free radicals”, which I think I heard about on Fox News in the waiting room at the tire shop. If you don’t want these radicals causing cancer and/or Occupying Wall Street, you’re gonna need some chocolate, stat!

(That’s a medical term. I watched a lot of ER growing up.)

Now, you’re going to be hesistant about screwing up your diet with something you’ve heretofore considered solely a sweet, so why not pair it with a familiar superfood?

Did you know that Tagalongs have both peanut butter and chocolate?

They’re basically steroids, except that Major League Baseball doesn’t test for them. That’s a competitive loophole just waiting for you to exploit.

Whole Grains

Let’s not sleep on whole grains. (They’re too scratchy.)

These fiber-rich cereals can promote healthy digestion, make you feel full longer, and lower cholesterol. You can’t just go around chewing on stalks of wheat, though—the farmers will get mad, and might fire a shotgun in the air while yelling at you to get off their land.

This problem, among others I won’t get into here, was addressed in the 19th century by Sylvester Graham, who discovered a cracker that coincidentally had the same name. He’s dead now, but if he were alive, he’d be over 200 years old—an incredibly long life, due all to these magical crackers!

Unfortunately, they’re no longer sold on their own, but it is possible to find products containing them—products such as the Girl Scout S’Mores!

These delicious and nutritious cookies also contain dark chocolate, which we’ve previously established to be several hundred times healthier than salad.

Oh, and marshmallows. (Those are probably healthy too.)

Mint

It’s long been understood that many herbs like mint have anti-bacterial and anti-inflammatory properties, but invariably, we get bogged down by arguing with British people about how “herb” is pronounced, and the mint dies before we can harness its power.

Here in Kentucky, some have tried to preserve mint by soaking it in bourbon, but this can lead to horse racing, which may not be practical if you are in a small space.

Thankfully, another (bourbon-free) method of consuming mint has been developed by the folks at Girl Scouts of America, who have managed to compress the otherwise-unwidely herb (silent H) into a delicious, cookie-shaped pill called Thin Mints.

Ten or twelve of these are practically guaranteed to cure a cold in 5-7 days.

Sea Salt

We’ve been working up a real sweat here, and we’ve got to make sure we replenish our electrolytes, which are the things that make it possible to see at night.

Sea salt is a great source of electrolytes such as sodium, potassium, and magnesium!

Problem is, many of us don’t live anywhere near the sea. I tried getting salt from the Ohio River once and it did not taste good. Fret not! Sea salt can be shipped long distances from the sea on top of other foodstuffs, such as Adventurefuls, a cookie-type product from the Girl Scouts.

Finally, we can get electrolytes without supporting the Florida Gators.

Treat Yourself

When establishing new, healthy habits like we have today, it’s important to allow yourself a little grace—it can’t all be healthy peanut butter and chocolate, y’know? Once you’ve established a healthful baseline, it’s perfectly fine to indulge in the occasional sweet snack—heck, why not have a Trefoil?

This Girl Scout cookie is the perfect capper to a day of wellness.

You’ve been good. Treat yourself.

—Scott Hines (@actioncookbook)

(P.S.: if you still need your Girl Scout Cookie fix, I got the hookup right here.)